kids.

I have decided I don't want perfect kids...
I consider myself almost perfect (not perfect but just almost too good)
I don't like it.
My dad tells me stories of his childhood almost daily.
I love them and hate them at the same time.
See here is the thing I have been thinking about,
I have no stories I can think of to tell my kids that really make them think.. WOW mom that is awesome!
I can think of one risk I have taken in my life, that I could make a story out of...
now don't get me wrong I have a lot of stories I can tell but just not cool ones.
I want my kids to take risks,
yes they may get hurt
yep maybe they will get caught once in a while
maybe they won't be straight A students
you know what, I really don't care...
as long as I have kids that listen somewhat, believe in God, and grow up to be loving people I say, " have fun while your young!"
I want my kids to have stories...
stories about memories...
cool memories,
ones that mean more than a good report card or a perfect school year.
ones that will forever be evident
when all those report cards, and mathematical theories don't matter...
I hope they turn out ok :) ha
what do you think.

I wear these beads. for you. for them.

Like I said, " Anna I wear these beads for you, for Lucas, Mark, Fiona, Claire, Liam, Obama, David M., David O., Grace, David Daniel, Alvin, Bella, Moses, Precious, Esther, Junior, Maddox, Abdul, Maliko, Scarlett, Ocitti, Patience and the other 147 million just waiting.... patiently.innocently.waiting...waiting to be l.o.v.e.d.

his air...

no air and MYC huh that is where I left you...
well let's say I am slowly regaining air, continuing on

Minnesota Youth Convention is amazing
last year, I was called to become a Youth Pastor and go to North Central Bible College in Minneapolis
well let me say this, any day before that weekend you could have said, "Maria
are you going to NCU like Anna and Katie did?"
you would have got a pretty firm nope.
God has my life though
he can lead me
and he did that night I fell to my knees and knew the Lord's way
I am still planning on fulfilling all of that.
This year I didn't know what to expect
what I was going to walk away with
well afterwards (now)
I can say I don't know what I did
I was left so speechless with an unknown feeling
I know God spoke to me
not in my language though
ha.
I think it was my weekend to go and just be myself even though my world outside
was kind of crumbling
God was saying just dwell in peace
and rest in my love.
I did, I was renewed
did you know:
only 3600 teen students can give 19,200 dollars for Project Rescue
(Project Rescue brings hope to the girls and boys in the sex trade)
yep that's right the sex trade.
here is what I have to say that I know I walked away with this year
I asked God to literally break my heart for what breaks his.
have you ever felt your heart break. physically.
both those days.
I. d.i.d.
first: when students ran to the alters Thursday night to be rid of there past
worthlessness, loneliness, rape, anger, fear
second: when Pastor Eric Timm spoke on how only 20 dollars can rescue a girl being abused in India.
19200/20
that is 960 girls and boys we gave hope to
such a simple gift.
I don't want you to think only these amazing weekends my heart breaks.
nope.
I felt that horrible wrenching pain in my chest on the way to school the other morning
when I saw three people in their cars at just one stop light smoking their lives away.
so that is that.
please check out www.projectrescue.com
maybe find a way to give the gift of hope instead of by your new 360 turn dust mop.
or your cardigan,
cup of coffee,
must I keep going.
Anyways I hope God is working in your life like he is working in mine.
I hope you are breathing in his air...
I know I am.

days with no air...

so has it not been to long ...
yes it has been, i have my reasons though...
for the past few weeks I have been living life with no air.
not literally now, just hear me out, here goes.

Wednesday October 6
the day before Anna leaves for Africa.
my air left.
It was homecoming week and school was going great but on Wednesday when I got home I really felt the pressure.
Anna was finishing EVERYTHING trying to at least and my mother and I had church
all I wanted was 30 minutes with my sister.
packing took to long, supper was crazy, and the emotions overtook us all.
at church that night I laid on the pew and cried.
over and over again in my head just whispering,
"please Lord, keep her safe, keep her healthy, change her World"
I didn't know that Anna and I would not be going out for Dairy Queen until I read my moms text message from Anna that said, "a little emotional tonight, don't know if I can do anything with Maria."
I understood and didn't push for my 30 minutes at all anymore I perfectly got it...
Instead I took that time to write a piece of me she could have in Africa. A Letter.
I went to bed praying.

Friday October 8
Homecoming!!!
I mentioned how my day was great and how it melted into PURE JOY
and how to God be all the glory through all things...
well my night was great.
I slow danced, he swept me off of my feet...
My family quickly slapped me back into reality the next day, NO JOKE.
I am thankful for that.
anyways yes.
Anna made it to Africa
GREAT.

Sunday October 10
may I mention that on Saturday we had spoke with Anna and she was a little disgruntled by the volunteers and situations at the orphanage but living and getting adjusted.
yes.
we all prayed.
anyways Sunday, we got an email from Anna that explained the situations.
all I can say is I couldn't breathe that day...
we talked to Anna and she was terrified.
she wanted to turn around and come home.
I remember just wanting the day to be over and laying in bed crying, praying.
why God why???
I cried that night I had no air...
I wanted my sister to be rocking a baby to sleep on a nice rocking chair in a nice building, mending a heart that I myself couldn't... I now just wanted her home to hug and have a Dairy Queen with,
I wanted my 30 minutes back.
Lets say there was more then one restless heart in the house that night.

Monday October 11
I went back to school it is my way of coping...
I pray for things and continue with my life.
until I get home where I see that we are not quite whole yet
one is not safe so yet we all aren't...

So the beginning of my days with no air, did you think I should already be dead.
yeah, I kind of thought so too...
something sustained me though.
My Daddy, my King
I was also looking forward to Minnesota Youth Convention
a gathering of young God filled students in Rochester, MN where we can rejoice in the Lord and just simply have fun !!!
can I start a new post...
I think I will you guys need a break..
to be continued,

a glimpse of pure joy.

today is homecoming.
when you are me sometimes you feel a little overwhelmed with
crazy kids
immaturity
annoying people
but this week was ok
and today was great then,
i walked up to my locker after the pep fest 7th hour and my day melted into pure joy
pure joy.
a simple text that said,
"Anna called is on her way to TLC-PTL"
Praise the Lord is right.
i smiled, then breathed, smiled then breathed
pure joy
may all the glory be given to God and God alone
G.O.D.A.L.O.N.E
our plans are finished, Anna's plans are finished
it's all in God's hands
God will give us all
PURE JOY
through all things.

a new day

today.
i woke up at 10:20 from a dream, oh i love dreams.
hopped in the shower got all prepared for the day.
read some of Peace Like a River.
agreed to go on a bike ride with my Dad (can't wait).
agreed to make bars for my Mom. YUM!!
let the dog out.
let the dog in.
started making potato soup. YES !!
and now i'm blogging.
it is a beautiful day in the lord!!
the sun is out.
the breeze is perfect
i love fall. (how bout you)
to do still today.
make bars
go on a bike ride
read
read my bible
practice piano
go to Saturday Night service. excited!
come home to a pot of soup...
and have a bonfire with the youth group...
Hope you have days like i am having today, where you feel accomplished
where you feel like you could almost just dance on your tippy toes all day long and praise your wonderful God.

here goes

Well the truth I just erased four lines of a different blog because of the song playing on my Pandora station right now. Savior King is the song playing. I love my Savior. I love my Lord.
I have noticed over and over lately that it's so hard. I like education. I can't stand the attitudes of the ones I am forced to learn with. I have noticed that it's hard to be different for the Lord, but I have been trying hard lately. Not hard enough. I know the Lord is thankful and proud of my tries but he can't wait for the day Heaven will rejoice in my success. I am reading the book of James. Something happened Wednesday, I don't know why but when I passed someone swearing or being rude in the hallways I would just say to myself, "Lord help them or be with them," one of the two. I was surprised how much I said it. I was proud I remembered my Lord sometimes throughout the day. Today was a little worse but I asked someone not to use that language and got the response of, "oh hey, I'm sorry... is this better," then he repeated what he said using a different choice of words. Thank you Lord for that response it gave me hope. I talked to the new girl with the locker next to me. She was great. I feel the love of Christ. I want to share it. Pray I can continue making the small difference.

Here's a story for you I just heard it.
A boy from my school a few years ago was the senior football captain, a big guy, and just like you would imagine a normal football guy. He was killed in a freak accident and my teacher put up a some poster paper to write things to him throughout the time of grief and sadness for all the students. A girl who was made fun of a lot put up that he had a locker next to her and always asked how she was, if anyone was picking on her, and if she had enough lunch money for the day. Then at the end she simply put - He was my best friend.

I hope someone can write something like that about me one day. I want to be that light to someone who can't seem to find their way alone. What difference will it make besides that one day I can hear the Lord say, " Heaven rejoiced when you let your light shine."

i have been shaped by my town.

Pine City.

a small town, small enough that the streets are stocked full with camp chairs 2 whole days before the parade.

so small that on about the third friday of every may you will find most kids, parents, and

grandparents at field day and the day after the elemaentary auditorium is filled twice for a entertaining show put on by the school teachers!

the news travels quick around here

the rodeo is big (all of the small town cowboys getting down)

i love it small

the fact is i wouldnt want it any other way

i love seeing my teachers act so silly and anticipating watching the bull riders

i love hearing the horses whinnying and the leaves rustling early in the morning

i never want to wake up to street construction or police sirens

i don't want to have to drive to see a green field

but as i speak Katie is packing to go off to NCU a college i will probably one day attend to get a pastoral degree... and i hate to say this but it is dead center in the middle of the cities.

this town, the country, these people

have shaped me and i am proud to say i live in the small little town of PC

its better then i ever imagined and i never want to leave so i am ejoying it right now when there is no doubt that it is mine.

it's been a long time

yes... it has
so lets catch up

1. I still miss camp, a lot, you just can't get rid of God's love
2. I went to Valley fair, for the first time, it was a great day spent with great people
3. Anna Marie, my sister, got engaged :)
4. Our family took our annual camping trip to the north shore... more about that later.
5. I am still planning on going to Africa

About Africa it is something i want now... right now...
here is how it goes...
at camp every night i walked the floor of the gym for about a half hour and prayed, every night again and again i would ask God to show me MY way, where he wanted me... he didn't answer until i got home, then one day in my head came africa, anna, me, your way, a month, pray ... so there you go, what you ask for you will receive in the name of the Lord according to his will. I thought about it and was happy a lot of things worked out

1. i wouldn't be going alone
2. it would be fun
3. it's Africa
4. i would get to get out of school

oh... school... my mind was quickly flooded with all the doubts, no ways, and the... you have got to be kidding your only 15. But wait, this is God's way for me...what are you thinking God, skipping a month of school or more... impossible ???
nothing is impossible with God
that is right nothing is impossible with God... still i got the same doubts from my family, and they continue to swirl in my mind, oh yeah and the money...
please pray with me, this is God's way for me...
i am sick of being the stand by christian,
i am sick of seeing others change lives
i am sick of being on American soil, where everything is supposedly so great
i am sick of not necessarily listening
so...
like i said pray... i am going to follow God's way this time
and throughout my life I've learned there is really no better way to go ...
he never fails ...

my eyes want...

this week was amazing ... the things i saw imprinted forever
let me share ...

Monday

I left for Lake Geneva Bible Camp

(the best week of my life)

with in hours i was praying on a packed gym floor with kids who cared

cared who God really is

cared that there is a need

then to a chapel filled with praises

and a black speaker Mr. Dabbs

after that

i rededicated my life to Jesus Christ

and listened to heaven rejoice

PRAISE THE LORD

Tuesday

The full day

nothing is better then waking up in the morning with nothing finished

everything to come

that night my life was changed my pain dissolved

i went up for an alter call that was focused on if you had pain in your life

to be honest i do

pain for the orphans, the sick, the lonely, the starved

and my little church

my friend stood next to me that night

hurting for her cousin

we hugged and cried neither wanting to let go of love

the next thing i knew their weren't many left up at the alter

my eyes puffy and tears flowing

my dam had broke... every tear for a new picture in my head

i got hugged that night by a man i didn't know, a friend who i will always love,

my youth pastor the man the Lord has brought to speak and care for me and my friends and my counselor a lady who brings the sun into sunshine

yes...

it was an unstoppable night

thank you Jesus for those hugs everyone meant more then ever imagined

Wednesday

known as Holy Spirit night

this night i found my self on the ground for my Lord

screaming praises for my God

jumping for the joy of my Jesus

yes he is MY Lord

MY God

MY Jesus

i am his and he is mine

Thursday

the night no one wants

but god still did wonder filling the chapel with people speaking tongues

and the love of everyone together...

my eyes saw pain this week

my own and others pain around me

and ... well...

i want them to see more

for my eyes saw those same pains be washed away

and nothing besides my God can do that

so ...

i wanna see more of my God

i want to see more

my eyes want to see more

see more pain

the more pain the more healing

the more healing

the more faith

the more faith

the more God

and after this week all i want is more God

i am now more positive then ever some how

some way in the next year i will be packing my bags

and boarding a plane to Africa for one month to visit Anna

and give my eyes what they want ...

Merry Christmas Anna

that's when i am hoping to be seeing you :)

A Small Piece of my World ...

I love Old White Face ...

Moosie

Cola and I ...

Just a small piece today

maybe someday though

my world

my work

my way...

to give back

they deserve more (love)

God made them too.

found a few of these wonderful candid photos

riding imaginary horses

i want this hair back

fish face

some days life's a butt

Preview

diary post from July 4th

Last night was unstoppable...
nothing in the city could compare to yesterday's country night,
first was the boat ride
all i can say is it was amazing
amazing smells (smells of bbq food on the grill, wood burning, cut grass, and the lake)
amazing sights ( i have never seen so many shades of green speckled with beautiful lake homes)
amazing skiing (it was on of those nights where their elbows almost hit the water with every single cut )
then a power walk/run with anna and katie (not to mention i finished first) :)
we three decided to swim... at 9:50 the air was hot and the water was warm what else could you ask for ...
and then there was the deck, a night where the mosquito candles are burning and the oldies are playing which always calls for a little dancin' (including the all famous loco motion and walking like an egyptian dances)
and the drive to grams and gramps house where you can just snuggle up under the covers and sleep until the sun starts shining the next day... all i can say is it's summer time (love)

This is how it went...

My dad and I were floating down the river

and a duck flew out right in front of us...

"watch now, it's making us chase it"

"what," was my reply

"see how it is pretending to be hurt, it wants us to try to come and get it"

"why"

"well it works just perfect for dogs, it will go on this way until it thinks it's brought us far enough away and then it will all of the sudden just take off, do a big circle, and return to its babies"

"so it's leading us away from its nest... how do you know all this ??? "

" well I've seen it happen enough times they lead you or anything else away from their babies, so they don't get hurt."

... it happened just like my dad said it would and the duck flew back to its little ones

I thought it was amazing

that some bird would be able to conceive a way to lead practically anything away from its babies keeping them out of harms way...

some humans can't even do that,

hmm

makes me wonder sometimes...

I went to church last night tired and distraught i had just dropped my second cell phone in a glass of water and downloaded a virus onto our computer but i went excited to worship and to learn as always. The music started playing and i did the normal half paying attention half in my own world but i happened to glance down as i was looking around and there was a bulletin from the past Sunday i examined it and it said almost this

FATHERS DAY

Great is a man who abides in the law of the Lord

Living Hope Christian Center

Address---------

Phone---------

( )

that space is what caught my eye for almost my entire lifetime that i can remember that space was occupied with Senior Pastor - Rodney Kimbler ... now there it sits blank .... just blank

the music swirled around me and the noise pounded in my head my life stop as the world kept going, that's it eight or nine year and now it has to be blank...

i looked from spot to spot where i remembered seeing him... all of them blank... just blank

i felt kind of funny and i sat down little pictures floated around in my head happy, sad, happy, sad... then it was all blank... just blank

it had finally come i had wondered when it would all start to feel real

i had finally noticed he's not coming back ... that the fight was over

that we had won...

and

then

it

was

blank...

it's empty in this place

it is empty in this place
your seat not filled
your words not spoken

it is empty in this place
the air not lite
the sound not right

it is empty in this place
the peace to real
the joy to heavy

it is empty in this place
why can't you walk throught those doors once again... ?

i feel sometimes like there is gold where my heart should be...
so heavy and hard,
like no matter how hard i try the world just brings me right back down.
my heart weighs too much
it weighs for the orphans, for the starved, the sick,
for the people who make my life livable but who are living through life's troubles everyday...
its hard for the different pains in my life, for seeing the ones who just don't understand,
everything just doesn't seem to fit, even as i am multi- tasking right now, talking to a friend, i found out her aunt just died, i mean what else.
Yet as everything is crashing down my gold suddenly glitters,
i see someone smile, or i get a hug, someone tells a joke or says i am beautiful...
the people in my life come together to remember the ones who left too early,
and someones life gets put back together...
that's the thing about gold
when the son shines down on it
it shines ...
and makes everyone else shine too ...

My Summer so far has been...

• cloudy
• cold
• rainy
• relaxing

I have...

• caught up on TV shows
• stayed up late
• enjoyed the warm days
• organized
• sent the men off to go fishing
• learned how to make coffee
• went out for coffee
• threw bananas around a field
• went to the Twins game

Highlights...

• singing Don't Stop believing at the top of my lungs at the baseball game
• appreciation ceremony at the church

things coming...

• Lake Geneva Bible Camp ( best week of your life)
• 4th of July
• Family camping Trip
• pics to come :)

HAPPY SUMMER!!!

Oh those Siblings .... what a diference they make :)

In exactly 16 hours and 47 minutes I will be on summer vacation... I plan to be thankful for every free minute I get but this summer may not be my favorite... my brother is out of the house now, my oldest sister in an apartment and working in the cities, and Katie being a nanny on and off. I am begining to miss the days with my siblings more and more and the simplicities of just always having them there. I miss

• the games
• the talks
• the laughs
  
• the tears
• the late nights
• even the fights
• and of course most of all just the love

I know those things aren't gone because everyone will still be home on the weekends and here on and off but they are slipping away right at the time when i was starting to grab them.
My lovely parents will be here all the time and are always there for me and thank God for that but it is not quite the same.
Tomorrow I finish my days of eighth grade and no one is going to be home tomorrow night, not that i truly care, but like i have this whole year i will be sitting down to watch my 11 o'clock movie by myself (sometimes i truly don't mind) but it isn't the same when you don't have anyone to bug you because you fell asleep in the middle of it :)
this summer will be great no matter what and i will see more of my siblings then i think but i just want it all back...
mainly because i miss it all more then i ever thought i could...
I love you Nick, Anna, and Katie
:)

Lord may I please walk strongly out of this school year as you have led me to walk strongly throughout this school year...

I Love This Picture ...

( Easton and Emma in the gator )

:) smile today
life is good

where is the love

what a day...
i have been thinking that everyone has just gone crazy
no one cares
nothing matters
the word love means nothing to anyone
yet i see this and i cannot stand it
it bugs me so much that people don't value life
that God doesn't matter to barely anyone
that we ask for something but if it comes in the wrong package we send it back
i can't believe how almost everyone shows no respect
how friends aren't real friends
how everyone thinks that being a mean is just a way of life
that swear words are used just like any other word
most Americans are pathetic
some days it just bugs me so much
no one gets that we have so much
we have an abundant amount to be grateful for
and still everyone complains
complains
that someone is not doing their share
that somethings to hard
that someones to mean
that they are to stupid
that it doesn't taste right
[ ugh ]
yet amongst all of this i am supposed to remember that we have and all loving all forgiving
God
in school where the "F" bomb is dropped every where i walk
but now here i am complaining i wish God had made it easier
but he didn't so i guess i am just going to have to live with it
i am trying to stand up for what i believe
trying to be optimistic
trying to see something brighter
but for some reason it is like the world is saying,
"oh that light at the end of the tunnel has been shut off for maintenance."
or maybe this is just the longest tunnel i have ever been in
so i am writing this as a statement to my readers that every time i feel overwhelmed and feel the weight of this world all around me i am going to remember that God loves me and i am going to let the words of my new favorite song ring through my head 24/7
here there are if you care to join me in this seemingly hopeless world that yet holds so much
L. O. V. E.
it's hidden in us, us Christians, all of God's never ending love
share it with me today...
i need it

Hold Us Together
Matt Maher
It don't have a job
Don't pay your bills
Won't buy you a home
In Beverly Hills

Won't fix your life
In five easy steps
Ain't the law of the land
Or the government

But as soon you needed...

Love will hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm
And I'll be my brothers keeper
So the whole world will know
That we´re not alone

It's waiting for you
Knockin' at your door!
Every moment of truth
When your heart hits the floor
When you're on your knees then...


Love will hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm

And I'll be my brothers keeper
So the whole world will know
That we're not alone

This is the first day of the rest of your life
This is the first day of the rest of your life
'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light
It's gonna be alright s´gonna be alright
This is the first day of the rest of your life
This is the first day of the rest of your life
'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light
It´s gonna be alright s´gonna be alright

Love will hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm

And I'll be my brothers keeper
So the whole world will know
That we´re not alone


Jesus loves me ...

Some days ...

Some days are days that I need to sit between my parents in our big blue suburban
rest my head on the uncomfortable middle seat
put my feet on the dashboard
let my face soak up the sun
and listen to my parents bicker back and forth about some small subject...


Some days are days when I just simply ask the men in the house to clean up their mess before I get home and mom gets back from work
but end up coming home to this anyway
and simply looking at it in despair but deciding to be optimistic and remember that this is what you get when there are people home and those people are my family
and that family is my love.

Some days you just have to open your hands to whatever comes
it may just change you...


and
some days are just to remember the things that you
opened your hands to
things you
loved
things you
did
and even the things that you
didn't
for it is those some days that you will never forget...

home f.o.r.e.v.e.r.

i am going to my very first funeral today...
this may sound bad but i am quite excited...
not only is this my first funeral it is a funeral of a man that meant a lot to me...
a man that i grew up listening to every Sunday morning...
and a man that i even babysat his grandkids for...
this man was my pastor...
now it should seem strange that i am excited but i just can not wait to

c.e.l.e.b.r.a.t.e

the wonderful life he led and made for himself...
the estimate for people is around 500...
how many lives can one man touch?
how many lives have you touched?
what is your funeral estimate going to be for the number of people?
think about it ...
this is an estimate of how many are to come...
but then of course their are ones who can't make it...
i knew a man who touched this many lives, i got to talk to him and laugh with him and his family.
no wonder i am excited he was a wonderful, amazing, sweet, lighthearted man with an abundant amount of faith...
now do you think it is time to

c.e.l.e.b.r.a.t.e.

this wonderful man

When we are weak he is strong...

The people of my small church family
are grieving the loss of our Pastor Rod, an amazing man of God.
He passed through the pearly gates of Heaven yesterday
after fighting the battle of cancer with all his strength.
It has been a hard day and is a continual struggle but we are all in this together and have a King like no other...
We miss you already Pastor and will forever miss you.
Thank you for the faith and hope you have brought to the people you knew and even to the ones who maybe just knew you.
You will be remembered




I don't know for sure what was going through Pastor's head the days that he laid in bed and couldn't communicate, but I love to believe that God was telling him a story. The story of what is going to happen to our lovely church and every single person in it... a story that made Pastor excited to go to heaven, to be with the Lord, so he could see the story become a movie.
I believe that Jesus was sitting right there whenever one of us stopped in and was saying, "And do you want to know what is going to happen with Steve.
OH !!! and Nick I have got big things planned for him
and Jackie don't worry I got her, she will be fine, there is no one better then me to wipe her tears away."
I believe that Pastor heard every last word even though he couldn't communicate back...
sometimes
you
just
have
to
listen...
We didn't want to lose Pastor but
man did God get one of the best
and as I look back at all my prayers
for Pastor
when he was sick, now I notice that
I always just prayed that Pastor would be healed and that Jesus would keep him alive and save him today...
but don't get me wrong I wanted Pastor to be at the front of the church again
I wanted him to be the pastor at my wedding one day, sounds funny but I've thought about that already and he was always there...
I notice now that that was my idea and my way to keep myself going
and God has his...
I realize now that God did heal him
God did save him
God did keep him alive
just not the way I pictured it
but the way I picture things is not the way God does and God's picture is much, much clearer then mine
and for that I praise the Lord
He has bigger plans
and he will keep us all together down here
with another angels help
an angel I am proud to say i knew.

-Pastor Rod-

todays love

a bunny sleeping on one side of my sweatshirt pocket....
and one on the other :)

Snuggles and Bundles

if you are going to ask God to save the big things might as well pray that he will save the little ones too
(the wild rabbits we are working on saving)
:) they make my day...

a dog's thought

When i eat your grass
i'm not sick
i just know how insane youget when it grows
so long
and
when i bark
i am not trying to be an annoying
nuisance
i just want you to know i will
never like the people
who drive those
big trucks
oh
and
when i howl to the music you
play i am not
sad
i just get filled with
the same joy that
music brings
you
or even
when i bight on the ends of your pants
and try to drag you
my way
i am not being stupid
i just want you to take another
second of your day
to enjoy
life with me...
i do these things simply for
you...

a moment in forever

today my dad picked me up from piano and had decided not to go to pray with my mom and brother because of a cold that he is coming down with and told me he would just take me home but he had to stop off at Nelson's for some broccoli... it took him a while and i figured he was gazing and lolly-gagging along like he normally does, so i waited... he came back and whipped out an apple from the bag and took a big bite :) i asked him if we could stop by the Cross Lake dam ( i know he likes to do that and i was kind of feeling it tonight too)... after a few yards in the car and a few bites of apple my dad handed it to me and let me take a bite, how much love i felt when after every few bights my dad would let me take one... it just made my day. We drove to the dam and listened to Klove the whole way there "Amazing Love" was the song on as we were pulling up... i got out of the car as fast as i could and ran to the water where i stood up on a brick wall and closed my eyes and just listened... all i could hear and think of was God's amazing love, my dad joined me and we both just stood and waited, i have no idea what we were waiting for but we were waiting... the serenity so real... i was in love with the sound of the water and the fragrance of spring and the ... simple amazing love and amazing grace of my God ...

hoodies... i think not

i decided to ask....
why do kids sweatshirts have hoods ????
one little girl started running on the sidewalk...
i got my answer

-not because kids get cold
(they always just blow off anyways)
-not because they are stylish and easy to work with
(try putting a kids jacket on when they are screaming and having to work with 2 hoods)

- they are simply so that parents always have a leash on their child without literally cllipping one on ...

I traveled to Austin, MN to help babysit/nanny for my aunt and uncles 3 children under 3 (almost)

we have been awake for 7 hours

(almost)

oh the things I have learned...

*even a 2 year old knows what a camera is

*if you have three kids in diapers it adds up to be

-3 dollars a day

-90 dollars a month

-1100 dollars a year

(almost)

*a diaper can hold at least 20 pounds

(almost)

*it is easier to hold a baby with you right hand and pat their butt with your left

*kids love their mom too much

(almost)

*everythings almost too much

just almost