This is how it went...

My dad and I were floating down the river

and a duck flew out right in front of us...

"watch now, it's making us chase it"

"what," was my reply

"see how it is pretending to be hurt, it wants us to try to come and get it"

"why"

"well it works just perfect for dogs, it will go on this way until it thinks it's brought us far enough away and then it will all of the sudden just take off, do a big circle, and return to its babies"

"so it's leading us away from its nest... how do you know all this ??? "

" well I've seen it happen enough times they lead you or anything else away from their babies, so they don't get hurt."

... it happened just like my dad said it would and the duck flew back to its little ones

I thought it was amazing

that some bird would be able to conceive a way to lead practically anything away from its babies keeping them out of harms way...

some humans can't even do that,

hmm

makes me wonder sometimes...

I went to church last night tired and distraught i had just dropped my second cell phone in a glass of water and downloaded a virus onto our computer but i went excited to worship and to learn as always. The music started playing and i did the normal half paying attention half in my own world but i happened to glance down as i was looking around and there was a bulletin from the past Sunday i examined it and it said almost this

FATHERS DAY

Great is a man who abides in the law of the Lord

Living Hope Christian Center

Address---------

Phone---------

( )

that space is what caught my eye for almost my entire lifetime that i can remember that space was occupied with Senior Pastor - Rodney Kimbler ... now there it sits blank .... just blank

the music swirled around me and the noise pounded in my head my life stop as the world kept going, that's it eight or nine year and now it has to be blank...

i looked from spot to spot where i remembered seeing him... all of them blank... just blank

i felt kind of funny and i sat down little pictures floated around in my head happy, sad, happy, sad... then it was all blank... just blank

it had finally come i had wondered when it would all start to feel real

i had finally noticed he's not coming back ... that the fight was over

that we had won...

and

then

it

was

blank...

it's empty in this place

it is empty in this place
your seat not filled
your words not spoken

it is empty in this place
the air not lite
the sound not right

it is empty in this place
the peace to real
the joy to heavy

it is empty in this place
why can't you walk throught those doors once again... ?

i feel sometimes like there is gold where my heart should be...
so heavy and hard,
like no matter how hard i try the world just brings me right back down.
my heart weighs too much
it weighs for the orphans, for the starved, the sick,
for the people who make my life livable but who are living through life's troubles everyday...
its hard for the different pains in my life, for seeing the ones who just don't understand,
everything just doesn't seem to fit, even as i am multi- tasking right now, talking to a friend, i found out her aunt just died, i mean what else.
Yet as everything is crashing down my gold suddenly glitters,
i see someone smile, or i get a hug, someone tells a joke or says i am beautiful...
the people in my life come together to remember the ones who left too early,
and someones life gets put back together...
that's the thing about gold
when the son shines down on it
it shines ...
and makes everyone else shine too ...

My Summer so far has been...

• cloudy
• cold
• rainy
• relaxing

I have...

• caught up on TV shows
• stayed up late
• enjoyed the warm days
• organized
• sent the men off to go fishing
• learned how to make coffee
• went out for coffee
• threw bananas around a field
• went to the Twins game

Highlights...

• singing Don't Stop believing at the top of my lungs at the baseball game
• appreciation ceremony at the church

things coming...

• Lake Geneva Bible Camp ( best week of your life)
• 4th of July
• Family camping Trip
• pics to come :)

HAPPY SUMMER!!!

Oh those Siblings .... what a diference they make :)

In exactly 16 hours and 47 minutes I will be on summer vacation... I plan to be thankful for every free minute I get but this summer may not be my favorite... my brother is out of the house now, my oldest sister in an apartment and working in the cities, and Katie being a nanny on and off. I am begining to miss the days with my siblings more and more and the simplicities of just always having them there. I miss

• the games
• the talks
• the laughs
  
• the tears
• the late nights
• even the fights
• and of course most of all just the love

I know those things aren't gone because everyone will still be home on the weekends and here on and off but they are slipping away right at the time when i was starting to grab them.
My lovely parents will be here all the time and are always there for me and thank God for that but it is not quite the same.
Tomorrow I finish my days of eighth grade and no one is going to be home tomorrow night, not that i truly care, but like i have this whole year i will be sitting down to watch my 11 o'clock movie by myself (sometimes i truly don't mind) but it isn't the same when you don't have anyone to bug you because you fell asleep in the middle of it :)
this summer will be great no matter what and i will see more of my siblings then i think but i just want it all back...
mainly because i miss it all more then i ever thought i could...
I love you Nick, Anna, and Katie
:)

Lord may I please walk strongly out of this school year as you have led me to walk strongly throughout this school year...